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I don’t control the laws of physics.

Let’s start with this casual picture of her just sitting on the stage talking wisdom.

Let's start with this casual picture of her just sitting on the stage talking wisdom.

“I don't know how I spontaneously make people pregnant, I don't control physics.” Is probably what she's saying here.

Lars Niki / Getty

Don’t look at this picture without contraception, it’s dangerous.

Don't look at this picture without contraception, it's dangerous.

When her arms are exposed the risk of accidental pregnancy goes up.

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Oh man, the little awkward smile, that’s it you’re pregnant sorry.

Oh man, the little awkward smile, that's it you're pregnant sorry.

Emma Mcintyre / Getty Images

Hold on to your ovaries because this is 2008 Kristen biting her lip.

Hold on to your ovaries because this is 2008 Kristen biting her lip.

No one did bed hair like '00s Kstew.

Franco Origlia / Getty Images


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